1. |
Song For A Feral Kid
02:35
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im taking a step to look at my face in the mirror to see how much ive aged
but nothing is quite as crystal clear as this freight train
to the wrong direction ive been on for years
my reflection shows a boy a girl a kid too afraid of the world
but I have put up a good fight take a look at my stomach
ive almost clawed my way to the outside
dont polish my gears, or chip off the rusting
my time is running out and boy im tired of running
this steady conflict I have with my skin
it won't give if it breaks it comes back and brings friends
taking a step back and changing my pace ive been dancing my way
to an early grave
but I wanna be something more than an illness
the feeling of your parents disappointment
the feeling in your chest when you realize that no one will stay
and you can never go back to the one place you felt safe
dont polish my gears, or chip off the rusting
my time is running out and boy im tired of running
this steady conflict I have with my skin
it won't give if it breaks it comes back and brings friends
and im half the man I used to be I choke on all my insecurities
i'm waiting for the axe to fall no matter where it lands it wont cut everything off
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2. |
Missing
03:52
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hit or miss i pull down my sleeve
because ive been hiding scars when you think im not
how can you believe me, when ive been sitting at home in the basement
have I been making friends, or empty spaces
ill fade again this month when the floor tell me ive lost
my skin deep comforting
ive been awake since the morning you left me
so come talk to me if I am still the same
I'm just buried, but im not sad
I just wanna give you my 2cents
before we lose whats felt like progress to me
im trying, lying harder the only person in my way is me
my headstone reads
you should have quit while you were ahead
ive been awake since the morning you left me
and youve been safe since the morning you left me
and my skin deep comforting
I never felt love through intravenous things
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3. |
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waking up upset, last night i called it quits
went the extra mile, to make sure that I could swallow it
i don’t think ill make the next three months of summer
with the same damn notes and the same damn lines repeating, over and over
I fucked up, I fucked up again
I’m slamming dope again, the best decision that ive ever made
these empty people in my life, remind me that I have been alive
and I quit smoking, the worst decision that ive ever made
I still miss you when you leave to go outside
I fucked up, I fucked up again
and it’s been a while since ive had
any kind of contact with the outside world I hate
it wouldn’t be so bad, if I knew how to act
to pull myself out of this grave
you know we’re still the same….
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4. |
Sound Transit
01:32
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ive got an axe to grind on what weve had these past few months
it was a dream and I woke up shivering in cold dead arms
it’s not just what you said, it’s criticisms of our half-lived lives
more in moments faking everything you felt
I’d rather die than live this lie
ive got a thousand reasons why
i think it’s time we take our leave from this charade
and I think it’s time we sat and had a talk about our future plans
they’re incompatible and I don’t think we’re ever going to last
i wanna run away, forget you and your empty promises
i never want to be reminded of this sham
I’d rather die than live this lie
ive got a thousand reasons why
i think it’s time we take our leave from this charade
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5. |
Sunshine
01:31
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sunshine pass me by cause I don’t have the time
to play around get fucked up and fall down
but ill try not to blink before I hit the ground
spike the punch im love drunk
and I think the worst of that day
between soap and hot water, the hangover stays
what am I to do when my nightmares are cluttered with pictures of you
this side of me is well hid, the poison in this pen will plague you again
and when you run out of time ill forgive and forget that you left me behind
i don’t mean to sound harsh but opening up old wounds is a start
im not you and I could never beat you
try and you might theres no seeing me through
my heart is too rooted to budge
but if I start to drink its a cradle not a crutch
and if it starts me back and square one
ill only be happy when my song has been sung
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6. |
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maybe im just like my father
maybe he's just like his father too
maybe I wont be bothered
if my kids turn out like their father too
cause I know that im alright
and I know that they will be alright
I know that im just like my mother
always looking for a fight
kicking and screaming
but cautious and dreaming
you'll never blow out my light
I know it burns dull sometimes
my best friend taught me how to disappear
when he went away last year
he comes back to visit sometimes
and I trade contact for lies
I cant see you this time
but I hope what I leave behind
meets you somewhere down the line
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7. |
Psycho-NOT
03:33
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a house a block away, someone remind me why I decided to stay
another cigarette is pressed between my lips
the room tilts backwards and I'll sit and spin
but I know I deserve worse than this
a vice is a walk away drink up polyesterics
and prey that this love will wake
pray make it stay
once again with less feelin
drink up the red, drink up the red
once again with less feelin ill sit and spin
ill sit and spin
and if I feel like shit again
im getting used to it
these days it's not as hard to stomach
so early up and out of bed
ignoring the voices don't ask me what the hell they've said
and I for one and going broke
drowning my monsters when I don't stand a chance
when she's puling and pulling and now i'll go back
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8. |
Song for a dead girl
03:48
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calm before the sun
opens me up like a window
puts me out like a baby
and it's the only thing I know that can save me
I don't mind the rain
it doesn't fall on my head
i don't mind the rain
and it never minded me
dawn before the sun
builds me up like my next home
the people inside don't mind
i am always gone away
i don't mind my head
but my body lost all my respect
i don't mind my head
and it never minded me
come down from your pedestal
it's nicer here on the ground
yeah we've all got our sorrows
and we all let ourselves down
I don't mind the rain
it doesn't fall on my head
i don't mind the rain
i don't mind the rain
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9. |
Song for nobody, really
02:14
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close your eyes and forget the past
try to forgive me and make your way back
unless leaving is what you needed to do
what did you have to lose
why did I have to lose you
ive been drifting away in this flood since the day I was born
since that day ive been torn apart
ive been sinking and choking on mud
since the day I was put on this god damned rock
im not breathing not breathing not breathing not breathing
hell i'm not even here
im not breathing not sleeping not eating not dreaming
hell im not even here at all so
suck it up and write it off as a flaw
i wasn't there but I know what I saw
these memories that aren't mine scare me to death
to death
to death
to death
so i'll end it instead
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10. |
shutter
03:37
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take a look at me and tell me im crazy
baby I know I am
I thought you would've learned by now
it's such a perfect day I spent in bed again
dont you know it's so bad for my head
ill try to sleep
and ill try to stay happy
and ill try to sleep
even if I wake up
half the man I used to be and choke on all my insecurities
i'm waiting for the axe to fall no matter where it lands
it won't cut everything off
give me some time to figure it out
I used to be honest
I used to be proud to have seen what ive seen
i'm running in circle
open up my chest and nail my heart onto the door
it's much more useful up there now
it has a purpose up there now
on that door
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